Bagels are disturbing to me. 

Other than the fact they ripped their shape off from donuts, they are very rude to me. 

This one time, I made a bagel with cream cheese, and he burned me. Right to the bone-Teeth, right to the teeth.

And then this other time, a bagel started flying around in my toaster, yelling "Am a bagel, oh man, oh man, oh man" Over and over. 

You are welcome to make fun of me.