I'm currently planning on making a funnypasta called The Crier, intended to be a parody of Slenderman and The Rake. So I decided to start by making a picture for the pasta. After all, this could serve as illustration for the character of The Crier.

So as I start up Paint.NET, I download a picture of a night forest. All I do to the picture is add some motion blur and make it black and white.

Paintnet screenshot1

Now for the appearance of the Crier himself. Of course, he is a monster, so I want something menacing. Something blurry. Something that you see for a millisecond, and then spend weeks trying to get rid of it in their mind.

So I add a kitten.

Paintnet screenshot2

You may be thinking to yourself, "Oh, Kuman, why did you put a cat into the picture? Cats aren't menacing creatures!" 

True, but I thought to myself, "If I am able to Liquify the kitten, put a black colour all over it, then blur it, then I can create something menacing."

So I start off with trying to get the white off.

Paintnet screenshot3

That is going to be the best I can do.

And I start Liquifying. I decide to make the kitten without any legs and shrunken in ears, and then rotate it and add in some legs at the end.

This is what I get.

Paintnet screenshot4

Well, that's not perfect, but most of it will be blurred, so it'll be okay. Now to rotate it and add the new legs.

Hang on, I got an email. Let me read it.

For those who can't read it, it says:

"Dear Kumandayas, we have received a report that you have been abusing a cat by Liquifying it so that its legs don't exist.

We have decided to take you to court, and if you pay us the fine of $1,500,000, we will stop pursuing court. But in 6 days, you will have to travel from Australia to Washington to plead guilty if you do not have the money in time.

Cheers, asshole.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals"

This isn't good. I need to get 1.5 billion dollars so that I don't face prison time. And I still need to finish my picture. But I'm not worried. I have a cunning plan that will blow the socks off of your feet.

I decide to rob a bank.


My best plan yet.

After a thrilling heist, I give the money to PETA so I won't have to go to jail. There we go.

Now, back to the picture. I rotate the cat, paint it white, and give it legs.

Paintnet screenshot5

Almost done! Now that I've completed the layout of him, I scale him down and blur him again.


Pictured: The crier.

Yes! We did it! We created all of this in Paint.NET, liquified a cat, blurred everything, got in trouble with PETA, robbed a bank, and conquered our fears!

Although I may have actually gotten myself some jail time. I can hear police sirens pulling up at my house.

Next time we'll talk about how to pick up the soap without bending down.

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